(Shakespeare, Love's Labors Lost)
That's the note I got when one of my fav teachers prepared us all a little Shakespearean gift. (I've always been a fan of personalized material!) And I might say it's been fluttering on my mind ever since. You might have noticed how my stories build up -- much like chaotic dream sequences, and most of the time I feel such
pity sympathy for my poor readers. I am a huge story teller, and I do try to be more sort of linear, but I'm more of a Beckett than a Shakespeare.
And the fact that I've just started this post with that little anecdote shows you exactly what I mean. Because this post was supposed to be about something totally different. It was supposed to be about how my life has changed from crazy to boooring and back -- and how I actually feel good about it.So why the quote? Well, to show you that normal is a totally different thing to me than to other, well... normal, people. If life is quiet and peaceful, I start worrying that something's gone wrong. My 'wit' starts to feel like a li'l bird trapped in a cage.
Well, I'm having none of that these days. I'm working like crazy on a couple handful of projects, and I spend my free time running some other projects. =) First off, I'm teaching quite a lot of company courses, which is good. All the administration means that the more of them I'm teaching the more it's worth my while, and now I actually think it pays off. Second, I've submitted my thesis proposal and am awaiting approval. This is a slow process, not only because of the approval but beacuse I have to read a lot before I can write anything. And I'm not really good at reading this sort of stuff on the go, so I need some (relative) peace and quiet some time. Then I'm teaching Introduction to Linguistics to first year students, which takes quite some preparation on my part. It's difficult for the students to learn so many things (let alone autonomous critical thinking) in such a short time, so I'm trying to make the process as smooth for them as I can. Maybe i'm overthinking things, but I at least want to give them a chance. =)
What little time remains I spend on surpsisingly geeky stuff. My top priority is the DnD (4th Ed.) game we're running with my husband. 4th Edition is perfect for an endless number of settings, and it's reeeeeally easy to have a one-to-one game. We're alternately DMing between us, so the story's evolving through our mutual efforts and it's really fun for everyone. Currently I'm leading the gang, but my time of mastering is coming up. So I'm preparing the next phase of the story, getting my DM skills up to date at the same time. It's loads of fun, and, interestingly enough, there's a lot of stuff I can recycle as a teacher/trainer. Not the story, of course, but some skills and solutions really do come handy. (My courses are usually fun, if I may say so myself. =))
Next up is my tech addiction. I can't keep my eyes away from all the development in communication technology -- and technology in general. I love reading about new concepts and gadgets, and all this kind of development in the present 'age' is extremely interesting in my opinion. It's not really that I feel like buying into any of the trends (my Kindle, notebook and simple smartphone cater to all my needs!) but I like to be up to date, simply because I find it fascinating. And should any of my stuff need replacing, I wouldn't feel so lost.
And, of course, we're skiing a lot. I love this sport! If you do it the right way (and with the right people), there's just so much potential, and you can progress on your own without feeling bad about your mistakes or under pressure. Of course, it helps that we started with a three-day course that gave us a really good basis. So we're not really scared of any slope (I've been tackling some blacks this year) and can practice away on our own. It's really fun and I'm so happy we went for it!
So that's what I'm doing at the moment, and I have to say that being so busy finally feels really good. I've been saying for a while that I'm really not the stay at home type. I guess I do less and less housework if I'm left at home alone, just because I feel that the whole thing is resting on my shoulders, looming over me. And, unconsciously, I guess I want to prove that I'm not cut out for this. So everyone's better off if I'm kept busy. =)
It's a totally diferent matter if I manage to feel at home, though. To be honest, I still don't. It's difficult to explain, because Switzerland is perfect (for me!) from so many aspects. I can't even say that it's the annoying little things that make me uncomfortable. What really bugs me, I guess, is my own incapability to make up my mind. I don't feel at home exactly because I haven't decided yet just how much i want to feel at home -- and in what way. The fact that I might settle down here for good fills me with apprehension, much like guys must feel before getting married. Is it really this town I want to spend the rest (or a good chunk) of my life in? And having kids in Geneva seems a lot less attractive than before. OK, giving birth in one of the nice hospitals must be cool and being able to afford all the fun is pretty awesome too. The mountain hikes and picknicks are to love for sure and learning languages must be like a breeze (though I would differ on that). But... but all this pretentiousness and all this lovelessness and frustration... I don't know if I'd like to be the parent of any of the louis-vittoned teenagers that spend their afternoons at Starbucks wired to their iPhones, wearing the smallest of jackets when it's -10°C outside...
Don't get me wrong. I love teenagers and I was quite a rebel at that age myself. But our revolution was cheap and all this posh ... I don't know, it just makes me sick. But that's the point of a different post. I'm really not antagonistic -- I'm just scared. I don't think that my life has prepared me for these kinds of problems.
But, fortunately, those decisions are still a little while away. What I have to deal with now is my own life. And how to make this little town my home for now.
Thank you for reading.
I'll be back soon with more on life in Geneva,
and some spring stuff to do in/around town.
I'll write a bit about the skiing places we've checked out too.
See you soon!