Friday, January 13, 2012

Last Christmas

I think it's the cheesiest song I've ever heard and the video reminds me lot of Hugh Grant's mock video in Music and Lyrics. =) But I do watch it at least once every year, around Christmas, for various reasons. First off, I find the amusement totally worth the pain. =) Second, it's somehow part of my Christmas rituals and I just love this part of the year. But this year it was the third aspect that I found the most prevalent. I like the song and the video partly out of a strange nostalgia. It's not that I think fondly of the 1980s, but rather that once the music fades I can sigh with relief that I don't have to live in that world (again). And, around Christmas, one of my most preferred activities is to look back and say goodbye to all the things I want to and prepare to start anew.

It's not really about resolutions. But I do feel that the festivities, the wealth and comfort of the period allow me to go retrospective, and introspective, and change whatever I want to change. We usually do a lot of traveling visiting all the relatives, and that gives me ample time to think and reflect on the past year and the new one to come. I also find that it's easier to change my ways when I'm surrounded by beautiful things and happy faces and I can keep up these changes because they always smell a bit of Christmas afterward. =)

And yet, while I usually cherish these holidays and always feel that time seems to halt and that renewing magic is but a touch away, this Christmas was even more special. This was the first Christmas I spent in Hungary as a sort of prodigal daughter and the atmosphere, full of hope and bliss, seriously amazed me. I felt being reborn.

Somehow I felt that as all the fights and difficulties of the past two years have made me different and happier, similar changes have affected my friends and family. We all seem to have survived the earthquake and found gems in the cracked stones. Now we're ready to build a new future, from happiness and hope and love. This is what I saw around me, in people beaten down by the government's stupid decisions -- in people dreaming new dreams and making choices they would have never had the courage to make. This is what I saw in friends working furiously for their dreams and accepting responsibilities that are heavier than mountains and speak of futures brighter than any star. And this is what I felt when I saw that everyone was ready to set aside all their work and dreams and listen to my story and hug me and say how happy they were I was finally on the right track.

I didn't feel like listening to Wham!'s song this year. I didn't feel I needed it. All the rubble around us reminded us of the things we were leaving behind. And the gems in our hands (and hearts) of the future we'll have to build. We're all finally on the right track.

Thank you for reading.
May you all find such jewels
whenever staring at the rubble of your life!

Happy hugs!


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