Monday, October 10, 2011

A Working Girl's Blog

Yes, that is exactly what this has become. I believe apologizing for the lack of posts on any blog is kind of lame -- you could very well spend that time writing a proper post.

So I'm not going to apologize, nor do I think there's any reason I should. My being busy (huurrrrayyy!) is kind of the topic of this post, but in a totally different way. And I'm sure you guys will understand.

This blog was born out of enthusiasm, love -- and, let's face it, desperation. My enthusiasm for traveling in general, and especially for Switzerland, has inspired many of my posts, and I even went about resurrecting my career with a huge load of positivism and cheerfulness. But it was mostly my love for writing and sharing ideas and experiences that led to my pouring information on you guys in this manner.

And I guess there was a bit of impersonal love, a need to help, even if I had no I dea who my readers were. I wanted to help you guys escape all the annoying or embarrassing situations I'd wandered into due to lack of information. Most of those situations were the results of me plunging into creating a life in Switzerland, without knowing what I was up against. Would I have plunged had I known? Good question. But once I was here (and in the stuff up to the ears), I thought I'd help those in a similar situation. Or those thinking about the move.

Looking back I can say that happily it was mostly enthusiasm and love that came through. I tried to keep my suffering for myself, because I thought it wouldn't help anyone. What would help is a recital of how I overcame these difficulties. And, actually, I was quite often asked about that. So I thought I'd give you a heads up as to my recent adventures. Or, to be more exact, the fruit of my struggles.For struggle I did. Those of you who are well versed in the Fleur saga know that I came to Switzerland about two years ago (OK, exactly two years ago), because my husband (then boyfriend) got a job at one of the big multinationals in Geneva. I might have told you how it all came about, how he was always looking for internal positions abroad and how he fought for almost 6 months for this one. Than again, I might not have, but this post is about something else, so that will have to wait. =)

So here I was, in Geneva, for the second time in my life, awed and very much in love. I'm pretty sure there was a huge mixture of psychological factors at play, but the outcome was that I was just totally infatuated with this city and the country that hosts it. And it looked like an infatuation all over. I can even see myself groveling and trying to look my best, while this breezy highbrow idol of mine turns its back to me... Yeah, Geneva's not been a passionate lover, more like one that lets you run your course with an easy smile only to tell you, "not tonight, honey".

But you know the beauty of real love is that you never really give up. To be quite vulgar, I knew the b*tch would love me back some day, I only had to show my worth. You might say that I was mad -- and I would agree with you, to some extent. I'm not even sure I would have made the move had I known what was awaiting me. But then again, you know you often wish you'd never met that cruel but beautiful person that's changed your life forever.

The good thing is cities are not exactly like people. Unlike my metaphorical lover, Geneva's always been known to pour happiness and satisfaction on its select few. I wanted to be among that few. I wanted to be poured upon. Not that I wanted to become super rich or have a life without difficulties (that doesn't exist by the way). I just knew I was someone Geneva would like, and I knew I would enjoy being liked by it. So on I fought.

I guess this is where I come to the point. I'm sorry if you had to wait long for this to come. But I guess if you're reading for the gist, you've already figured how to do that in my posts (or you've ditched my blog completely). Besides, I wanted to let you guys -- you, who are struggling to make your dreams come true -- know that I've been there, and this is how I got on. I'm not one of those girls that get everything right at the start and then gallop through life like one big march of triumph (do you say that, by the way?). No, I'm one of those gals that go through the labyrinth, getting chased by all the monsters, and, though I don't get killed, I get pretty worked by the time I reach the treasure. But I always reach the treasure. And there's always the nice kind of treasure. so I guess I am lucky. But you, know, that treasure doesn't have my name on it. It could be yours too.

This is really what this ride's been like. More like an adventure than a pleasure ride, i must confess it drove me to desperation from time to time. Even to tears. I did feel that I was a failure, I did feel that maybe I should just give it all up -- but I never actually did. I believe that believing in your own dreams and powers is the most important ingredient of success. Becasue if you believe in those, you can always take your course for granted and only look at the next step to take. Sometimes the big picture is just too big to consider. Never mind, keep going step by step. If you know where you're going, your determination will act like a compass and guide you through the roughest times.

And, sometimes, it knows better where to guide you than you'd ever guess. It did in my case at least. You guys know how much I love teaching. You know how much I fought for a teaching position in Geneva. But going step by step toward my dreams and becoming more and more true to myself, I started to see what those dreams actually were. I guess sometimes it's really true that you might not even know what you want, even though you seem to have a clear idea about it. And that's exactly what happened to me.

To cut the long story short, my struggles led me in a different direction than the one I set myself at first. It turns out that my dream of becoming a full time language teacher was only part of the truth. The past two years, and especially the difficulties I had to face, made me realize that I simply had more in me than what this industry would ever appreciate. And, by the time I reached the last bend of the labyrinth and caught a limpse of the treasure, I realized that that treasure was so much greater than I would have ever dreamed of. Well, actually I did dream of it but I guess it was just too huge to admit.

I can't tell you whether I'm really there now or there are more monsters lurking around. But one thing's sure: I now know what the real treasure is, and I'm not going to let it go. I know now that deep down it was always about researching language learners' psychology and training would be teachers. And, of course, changing the world a bit. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. That will be the topic of a future post, I'm afraid.

Thank you for reading.
Have a nice week guys,
and keep faith in all your fights and struggles.
Don't forget, the treasure is there,
you only have to believe! ;)

fleur

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